Do you ever feel like you are constantly giving, Giving, GIVING love to your teen and for the life of you they are not getting it?! Of course, it could be because they are having a bad day, week, month. 😉 BUT another reason could be because you are not speaking your teen's love language.
I first heard the term love language from author, Gary Chapman. He defines it as “the way people speak and understand emotional love.”
You would think that by being around each other all the time would make it obvious what love language we each are… in fact, I assumed that. I thought what ever way I gave and received love was how EVERYONE received love… spoiler alert: I was TOTALLY WRONG! 😉
There are actually FIVE love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
Think you *know* which one each of your family members are? Go ahead and guess. Write it down - maybe make a game and everyone guess what love language they are... then do yourself a favor and take the quiz – it HELPS!
Too curious to keep reading? Click here to head straight to the 5 Love Languages FREE quiz to help you find out you and your children’s love languages.
So, let’s go through the different love types and ideas on how you can show love to that type.
An encouraging word does WONDERS for this teen!
Write your teen a note.
Leave a voicemail.
Send them sweet texts.
Give a shout out to them on Facebook.
If you want to show your teen you love them, DO something for them.
Bake this person's favorite cookies
Laugh at their joke
Offer to bring them soup in bed when they are sick.
For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.
The item doesn't need to be big and extravagant, just something that says I thought of you.
Consider starting a collection for this teen - maybe you mail them a postcard when you travel.
Bring a sweet treat home every time you visit this certain store.
Start a charm bracelet that you add to on special occasions.
For this teen, putting your phone AWAY and giving them your full attention means EVERYTHING!
Take road trips with this teen.
Tell them you have 30 minutes and you want to spend it with them. Then ask them what they want to do. The answer may surprise you.
Have a lull in the middle of the day? See if this teen wants to play a board game.
Your teen knows you love them by how much they can FEEL your love.
A good shoulder massage after a stressful day
A strong mama bear hug when the world feels against them.
A playful hip bump as you walk by
Put your arm around them when they are standing next to you.
It is interesting to me how we homeschool moms often are quick to say, “Learn your teen’s learning style”. I agree, so true. However, I would argue that just as important is learn your teen’s LOVE LANGUAGE!
Not only will your teen be able to learn well (by leaning into their learning style), but they will also be able to receive your love well (by sharing it in their language). And let’s face it – being around each other 24/7 and NOT showing the “right kind” of love to your teen can really hurt them as much as teaching them with the wrong learning style.
For your teen, helping them learn their love language is similar to them learning their personality type and leadership style. They are all pieces to the puzzle that makes them who they are. And it's always a good thing to know more about yourself.
You've got this!
On the journey with you,
Looking for Life Skill Lessons to help prepare your teen for adulthood? Check out LIFE 101 PRO.